Holy Cow! Man-Up Baseball Challenge

Weather: 75-degrees and foggy.

14 HIM relinquished the fartsack, shaking off the cobwebs, and posting in the dewy Gloom for a morning of pain.  Chili Pepper posted early for a pre-workout mosey.  YHC gathered and welcomed the PAX, providing the F3 disclaimer and encouraging more VQs in the upcoming weeks.  Drake led us in prayer and the beatdown commenced.

The PAX started with 2 laps at a conversational pace around the Adventure Park parking lot.  Butt kickers, carioca, and high knees were incorporated into the warm-up mosey.  There was much chatter to start the workout.  Moods were unassumingly high.  Ignorance is bliss.

YHC led the PAX to the field where cone upon cone was set-up.  Coupons were on the ground.  A large scoreboard was prepared.  Curiosity piqued.


The PAX circled-up.  For kicks and grins, and in an effort to establish false hope, YHC led a light, stretching-based warm-up:

  • SSH – 10 IC
  • Leg Stretches – Alternating L & R – 2 times
  • Shoulder Stretches – Alternating L & R – 2 times
  • Triceps Stretch – Alternating L & R – 2 times
  • Merkins – 10 IC
  • Flutter Kicks – 20 IC
  • American Hammer – 10 IC

The Thang

Holy Cow!  Pitchers and catchers have reported, and there was no better time than now to celebrate the return of America’s Pastime.  The PAX counted off in 3’s and were divided into 3 separate teams, which were selected via vote from the F3 LWR Mumble Chatter page:  the Cubs, the Rays, and the Red Sox.

Each team was then assigned to a separate baseball diamond, each strewn with different sets of exercises.  YHC explained the format of the game:

  • Each inning lasts 7-minutes
  • Every team must start their inning at the exercise listed at home plate
  • In between bases there is a motion-based exercise
  • At each base there is a physical exercise where 15 reps must be completed before advancing
  • Each HIM to cross home plate equals 1-run
  • Rinse and repeat until time expires – Each PAX must cross home for a run to count
  • 2-minute water break in between innings. Teams rotate diamonds clockwise each inning.
  • Understaffed teams (e.g. 4 player team vs. 5 player teams) double the score of the lowest run producer
  • Total Team Scores would be tabulated at the end of each inning
  • 4-innings total and the team with the most runs at the end of the game wins

Following, YHC advised that each baseball diamond was set-up with bases.  Accompanying each base was a cone that adorned a schematic of that field’s exercise path.  YHC reviewed a sample schematic and confirmed, unanimously, that the PAX is literate.  Below were the fields:

Diamond 1:

  • Home Plate = 15 squats
  • Home to First Base = Bear Crawl
  • First Base = 15 SSH
  • First to Second Base = Sprint
  • Second Base = 15 Merkins
  • Second to Third Base = Side Shuffle
  • Third Base = American Hammer
  • Third to Home = Sprint

Diamond 2:

  • Home Plate = 15 squats
  • Home to First Base = Toy Soldiers
  • First Base = 15 LBCs
  • First to Second Base = Sprint
  • Second Base = 15 Shoulder Taps
  • Second to Third Base = Side Shuffle
  • Third Base = Imperial Walkers
  • Third to Home = Sprint

Diamond 3:

  • Home Plate = 15 Squats
  • Home to First Base = Lunge Walk
  • First Base = 15 Monkey Humpers
  • First to Second Base = Sprint
  • Second Base = 15 Plank Jacks
  • Second to Third Base = Side Shuffle
  • Third Base = Mountain Climbers
  • Third to Home = Sprint

Clearly, the opposing teams’ pitchers were terrible, as the runs were piled-on throughout the game.  After the first inning, it was a dead heat with each team logging 20 runs.  The Rays’ bats electrified in the 2nd inning, scoring 25 runs versus the Red Sox’s 21 and the Cubs’ 16.  The Red Sox bounced back in the third, registering 25 runs to the Rays’ 23 and the Cubs’ 20.  Heading into the final inning, 2 runs separated the Rays and the Red Sox.  The home team refused to lose, fueled by strong performances from Wallburger and Drake, to extend their lead to 4 runs by the final out.  Final scores were the Rays 95, the Red Sox 91, and the Cubs 76.  As the late, great Harry Caray often said: “It’s OK, Cubs fans.  There’s always next year”.

The Rays players were showered with prizes of unspeakable value.  Specifically: God’s grace, praise, and F3 car magnets, courtesy of the F3 Gear Store.

All Star Challenge

Each team selected a Most Valuable Player.  For the Rays, it was Wallburger.  For the Cubs, it was Chili Pepper.  For the Red Sox, it was Rebar.  Indeed, a mighty trio of champions.  In acknowledgement of their individual greatness, each victor was given a F3 car magnet.  Yet, with glory must come pain…at least when YHC is Q.  The All-Stars were welcomed to the All-Star Challenge field, and invited to get acquainted with their respective coupons–ripened Home Depot cinder blocks.   The game was explained:

  • Complete 10 overhead coupon presses
  • Run, with coupon in tow, 50 yards
  • At midfield, drop the coupon like it was stolen and complete 10 Merkins
  • Run 50 more yards to the end line and complete 10 Burpees
  • All-out sprint 100 yards to the finish line — first across is Champion

The MVPs didn’t flinch at the instructions.  These men know no fear.  But they do (now) know physical agony.  As YHC yelled “GO”, the All-Stars started at a feverish pace.  Evenly matched, they completed their presses with ease and carried their coupons to the mid-line.  The PAX was electric with cheer.  Then, something awesome happened: the entire PAX chased after the All-Stars, cheering them on with fervor.  It was exciting, uplifting, and a true reminder of the brotherhood that F3 builds.

Following the Burpees, the race was still extremely close.  25 yards into the final sprint, Wallburger and Rebar had established leads and, for the remaining 75 yards, it was head-to-head.  From the spectator position, the race morphed into slow motion.  YHC could have sworn he heard Chariots of Fire faintly playing in the wind.  At the 80 yard mark, Wallburger found another gear–an inhuman gear–and secured the victory.  The PAX rallied around their All-Stars, showering them all with praise and encouragement.  It was cool.

As the PAX circled the U.S. and F3 shovel flags, Wallburger was brought to the center and presented with the F3 Lakewood Ranch Man-Up Baseball trophy.  The PAX demanded a victory speech.  The Champion humbly thanked his God, his teammates, and his Church.  Perfectly put, indeed.


YHC discussed the recent shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL.  Innocent lives were unnecessarily lost.  Prayers were extended to the victims, their family and friends, and to all who have been affected by this atrocity.  Drake praised the heroes that emerged on that dark day, who gave their lives to protect dozens if not hundreds of others.  We prayed for our country.

YHC referenced Galatians 5:9 – a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.  YHC offered multiple interpretations of the verse: 1) you are the company you keep — surround yourself with HIM, 2) as a HIM, you are an active ingredient in your family — focus on leavening (rising) your marriage, and being a high impact role model to your children, 3) stay God-centered, and let Him do the kneading and proofing in your life.


  1. Enroll in the Slack Channel to communicate with the Pax
  2. Be sure to check out the weekly F3 newsletter and the Mumble Chatter Page
  3. Backdraft and Recall will soon be announcing a 2nd F event at Pinchers
  4. We are in the preliminary phases of ordering F3 LWR Man-Up Shirts — stay tuned

Prayer Requests:

  • Various requests for friends and co-workers who are dealing with severe health issues


  • Props to Chili Pepper for the great music during today’s beat down!  Let’s continue to keep Boom Sally Up and Hot Legs away from Adventure Park–at all cost.

Great job today, crew!