On a wet, yet awesome morning, YHC set out at 4:40 to go postal with Bing, Goob, Trump & Crabcakes. Jimmy Dean and Cottontail did 2 miles while casing random neighborhoods. Trump made an early exit…nature calls.
Being sufficiently saturated, the Q started the mozy promptly at 5:14:30 noting the punctuality of this workout. In an effort to make the Pax wiser, Ripken spouted a story of a Canadian “man” looking to have his balls waxed…more on that later.
The mozy was fast and furious with the 5 core principals being articulated during, since they were omitted before. The circle of pain included no Richard Simmons or Ho Downs, but did include a return of the Willy Maze Hayes. Welcome back Willy! Where was Gridlock to experience more Willy? And where was Manziel to experience no Richard Simmons? Lots of fartsacking going on today. Mr. Clean made a triumphant return after taking 3 months (seemed like) off.
It was time to embrace the moisture so Ripken required a set of Big Boy Slappy, Slurpy Situps to be done. Big Mac’s crack can make some funky noises…TMI. After, the Pax were told to rollover, face down with arms akimbo. They assumed an exercise was to follow. Actually, Goob said it best, “It was just a “dick” move by the Q to ensure total wetness.”
The main course was a Dora of sorts in the bike rack. Did I mention that it was raining?
6 exercises were dealt in the racks on a 5 minute interval. While the partner performed said exercise, the other partner ran to the light pole, flipped a card and did a number of Salsa Dips, Breakdancers, LBCs or Tuck Jumps.
The 6 rack exercises were: Rows, Merkins, Dick Cheneys (scissor kicks but they squash your junk), Jump Throughs, Flys and Reverse Flys (both isometric since no one was strong enough to bend the bars).
Lastly, in honor of Shamwow’s big day, we did 78 Merkins on the rack. We stopped at 39 and learned that the ball waxing was just a case of mis-identity. This is what happens when society decides to create it’s own standards rather than living by the ones God gave us. Here’s the story if you’re interested.
Praises for gratitude and ShamWow’s bday. Prayers for Jimmy Dean’s sister-in-law, travel, missing Pax and things not said.
Thanks for putting up with the “fly” playlist. Hopefully never to be repeated.