New Sheriff In Town

As the weather started to shed its torrid humidity, a new sheriff rode into town to see to it that the boys in the Pax left their panties at home. Ripken was clearly well prepared to bring an epic beatdown, but when his wenkie written on his palm became illegible, the improv show began.

After giving a shoutdown of the 5 core principles and suggesting anyone with a beef  take it up with Chili Pepper, we saddled up and mozied to the creek to give our horses a drink.  The usual “mozy-cizes” warmed our parts and prepared us for some bridge work.

At the bridge, we bear crawled up, and did side-squat pulls down.  LBCs to bring home the six.  We then ran to the pole with 21 on it and for no apparent reason, turned around and ran back to the bridge.  A quick COP of jacks followed by Ho-downs (of course, it’s a western theme) snuck into the workout.  After a crab walk up and a lunge down, we ran to the basketball courts with some random merkins thrown in.

With still no sign of what the hell the sheriff had to do with anything, we divided into 3 teams of 6 and played medicine ball basketball.  Run down, shoot (if miss, do a burpee) and run back handing the ball to the next person on your team.  The Pax did LBCs, Merkins and Squats while waiting.  Drake’s team appeared to be cheating with a embarrassingly small ball(s), but took no shame in winning.  Scrum must have had extra beans out of the kettle last night (since he’s on a ‘no cornbread’ diet) as he seemed extra “windy.”

Keeping the teams, we passed the balls back/forth in American hammer style…down and back is one.  Went to ten. It was obvious that the team with Big Mac was destined to win due to his rock-hard abs, but lost by a hair. Pincher did his best to propel God’s team, Team 1, to victory, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Lastly, with the balls, was a sprint the length of the court by each team member.  Olympus seemed particularly spry having fartsacked for the past week.  Shamwow decided to walk instead of run, just to show the kids how it was done back in his day.

Finally, the sheriff rode in and the laughter came to an abrupt halt.  All Pax circled the sheriff and with Chuck Norris as inspiration, they whooped out some hard kickboxing moves. No intruder dare enter the house of an F3 man lest they be hit with repetitive hook/upper cut/back kick combos.

The day ended with 5 Ripken Suicides, but instead of doing them on the minute, he graciously allowed 1:15.  However, 5 merkins were added each run for good measure.  Mr. Clean was seen choking some Merlot back down.

A new FNG, Smudge, was named.  We suggested that he wear looser clothing so as not to shame us with “Dad Bods”.  Sparky announced that the next Men’s study would be “Wild at Heart” a great book about being a real man, would start in a couple weeks.  Prayers for Pincher’s M’s recovery, some Pax’s marriage/family issues, and some others.  Praises to have Shamwow back from a short stay in the hospital.