The Meaning of Marriage | Week 3

Week 3 | Chapter One: The Secret of Marriage (Part 2)

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This week 4 Pax met at Adventure Park to continue our latest book study: The Meaning of Marriage. Thank you everyone that was able to attend. We covered the second half of chapter one. We will be reading a half chapter per week (appx. 15 pages). See The Current Reading Plan. Each week there will be a marriage exercise posted to complete along with the reading assignment. See the end of this back blast for this week’s assignment.


You Never Marry the Right Person

  • “Marriage shouldn’t be this hard”
  • Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic
  • Marriage profoundly changes us
  • Any two people that enter marriage are profoundly broken by sin

Apocalyptic Romance

  • Modern people crush marriage under the weight of their impossible expectations
  • The illusion that if we find our one true soul mate, everything wrong with us will be healed, makes the lover into God and no human being can live up to that.

Deep Ambivalence

  • Modern studies conclude that marriage is suffocating and a genuinely long-term marriage is an impossibility, however a necessity.
  • Studies have found that married people who have had affairs found this to be unsatisfying and damaging to their marriage.
  • There are very few arguments being made that society can do without marriage.
  • If our views of marriage are too romantic and idealistic, we underestimate the influence of sin on human life.
  • If our views of marriage are too pessimistic and cynical, we misunderstand marriage’s divine origin.

The Great Secret

  • The secret is what husbands should do for their brides, is what Jesus did for us: Jesus gave himself up for us.
  • Jesus died to his own interests and looked to our needs and interests instead.
  • When God designed marriage, he already had Christ and the church in mind.
  • Do for your spouse, what God did for you in Jesus.

Romans 15:1-3 (NLT)

We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.”

No False Choices

  • The Christian teaching does not offer a choice between fulfillment and sacrifice but rather mutual fulfillment through mutual sacrifice.
  • Love without truth is sentimentality. Truth without love is harshness.
  • Through the gospel we get both the power and the pattern for the journey of marriage.

Homework for 10/26

  • Start reading Chapter Two – The Power For Marriage. Stop at: “It Only Takes One to Begin Healing”
  • Marriage Exercise: Each day this week, pray for your wife. Use the Marriage Prayer cards for help.

Thoughts for the week:

  • How often do you pray for your wife and pray for your marriage?
  • Does the bible provide gender roles for marriage? Are they relevant?
  • Love is not self-seeking. Do you have a servant’s heart toward your spouse?

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