Carolina Conditioning Test- Play or sit the bench?

Weather:  not too hot, not too cold but HUMID

QIC:  Goob

Pax:  Pincher, Young Buck, CottonTail, ShamWow, Posh, Mugsy, Trump, Banjo, Mr. Clean, Drake, Olympus, Wolverine, Ricky Bobby, Manziel, Goob

At promptly 5:15, the 5 core principles were recited and Goob ensured that their were no FNG’s.  Foolishly, Goob thought Young Buck was an FNG since they hadn’t met yet.  This was most likely the result of the disappointment from the no showing Gridlock after a HC.  Goob actually shared enough workout insight to coerce Gridlock into coming; perhaps lesson learned- don’t share details.  Anyways, from there, the mozy ensued.  2 laps around the parking lot which included butt kickers, a walk pulling each leg to the chest, nur, and a carioca each way.  In the circle, the pax performed 25 SSH in cadence, arm circle, agitators, and some hamstring stretches.

From there, Goob explained the immense importance of today- the opening night for the UNC Tarheel basketball team.  In North Carolina, college basketball is like a second religion, a mindset, and a way of life.  It’s essentially a state-wide holiday that takes precedent over most other things in life.  As such, Goob thought it necessary to spread the love.  Regardless of what fans, outsiders, college basketball pundits, or anyone else think about UNC- most, if not all, know that Carolina is the most well-conditioned team year in and year out.  Don’t run with the Tarheels or you will pay; they don’t tire.  Why?  Great question.  The PAX were soon to find out.

Roy Williams, the head coach, insists that the players not get tired, ever.  Opponents may be more skilled but they will not outwork his players.  Tarheels will play at full speed the entire 40 minute game, or quite simply, they will not play.  The rules are simple.  Pass the Carolina Conditioning Test on Day 1 and be allowed to practice.  Don’t?  Come back the next day and repeat.  If it takes a 3rd day, take another try the following day.  The means missed practice time and therefore, a reduced role on the team.

Since we don’t have benchwarmers, the majority of the PAX attempted the Carolina Conditioning Test.  For those battling injuries, Goob had planned a separate Q to work them out in a different manner.  The Conditioning Test is quite simple-

  1. Run 1 mile in under 6 minutes.  (For obvious reasons, our goal was to run 1 mile as fast as we possibly could)
  2.  Run as far as you can in 12 minutes; which means it better be 2.2 miles for guards or 1.9 for big men.  (Again the obvious, our goal was to run as far as possible in those 12 minutes)
  3. The Carolina 33’s.  On the basketball court, players start on one baseline, run to the other baseline, and touch it with their hand, and run back.  Repeat this 3 times in under 33 seconds.  12 consecutive times.  (We completed four 33’s, and no one did so in under 39 seconds.)

Could you play for Carolina or would you sit on the bench?

The alternate Q was as follows:

  • 25 Salsa Dips (SD), 25 big boy situps (BBS), 25 Merkins, 1 lap
  • 25 SD, 25 BBS, 25 Carolina Dry Docks (CDD), 2 laps
  • 25 SD, 25 BBS, 25 Overhead Claps, 3 laps
  • 25 SD, 25 BBS, 25 Broad Jumps, 4 laps
  • 25 Lunges (each leg), 25 Gas Pumps (GP), 25 Moroccan Nightclubs, 3 laps
  • 25 Lunges (each leg), 25 GP, 25 Merkins, 2 laps
  • 25 Lunges (each leg), 25 GP, 25 CDD, 1 lap

At 6 am, we circled up in a sweaty circle and shared the following-


  1.  Dec 12th- Salvation Army Men’s Dinner (we need a Q)
  2. Dec 17th- Ronald McDonald Dinner
  3. Jan 25th- Sniper’s Farm Bureau skeet shoot

Prayer Request:

  1. Drake’s mother and her caretakers
  2. 8 balls mother sudden passing
  3. Barron’s knee

As always men, it was an honor.  Go Heels!