Triathlon & the King of Pop

Ripken hit a 2 mile pre-run to get the blood flowing.  ShamWow showed up early too, but decided to meditate over his coffee instead of run.

The weather was perfect, and the night was still starry.  No bugs, no humidity…why were so many Pax fartsacking?  Trump made a late appearance, but never got out of his car due to gastro distress.  He swears he hit the gym, but we are still awaiting proof.

After a successful triathlon yesterday, Ripken wanted to share the experience with those who weren’t able to attend.  Given that we didn’t have a pool, or bikes, this was quite the challenge.  We did however have the full Michael Jackson playlist to keep us company…it was a Thriller {insert rim shot}.

The mozy started as expected with Karoakes, Nur, and Toy Soldiers, but then quickly turned into a cluster.  Ripken inserted a new move, the One Legged Hop, which really messed with people.  “WTF” was heard from Lambeau who felt change of this nature requires a 60% majority vote.

The warm-up moved to the Echo Chamber where Michael Jackson made an appearance.  Rowdy wasn’t there, but we couldn’t help and think of him when “Smooth Criminal” aired.  “Slick Criminal” might have been more appropriate after he used excessive lube and lost track of his phalic during what should have been an uneventful urinal trip…but I digress.

We learned a new move again, the Breakdance Burpee.  Anytime the word “boogie” was sang, we had to drop, do a Merkin, then a breakdance 360 spin, another Merkin and jump up, not fun during certain chorus lines, such as “Blame it on the Boogie.”  After the third such set, we guessed MJ must have been singing “Nookie” and no more Breakdance Burpees were required.  We added a series of Death by Merkins for extra fun.

Now time to Beat It, figuratively of course, to the Triathlon moves. There was a chalkboard with…

Swim moves (Moroccan NC, Flutter Kicks, Bird Dogs, and Shoulder Taps)

Bike moves (Freddie Mercs, Imperial Walkers, Around the World Jumps, Reverse Crunches) and

Run moves (High Knees, Tap the Bench, Sprints)

We beat it three times, a new record for Pincher.  Between the 2nd and 3rd set, we also held a plank for 3 minutes.  Bing noted that was the longest he had ever done anything.  We have a call into his M to verify that.  We are sure he is exaggerating by half.

Five ambitious stallions (clearly had more in the tank than us geldings) headed out for a post run.  Big Mac, Mr. Clean, Pincher, Bing and Manziel carried that torch.

Ripken’s word was prefaced with a fast car coming in, which led him to think of fast women, which reminded him how Rowdy got beat on the final sprint by a girl, a big girl.  Utterly embarrassing.  There is photo evidence should you need to see it.  After this “squirrel moment,” Ripken mentioned how in the Book of Acts, Peter and John were told by the Pharisees to stop preaching.  “We cannot stop telling others what we have seen and heard,” they told them.

They were changed by who they were around.  We have also been changed, by Jesus and F3, and need to simply share our testimony with others…no need to preach.  The first 5 books of the New Testament are history books; they simply state what was seen and heard.  Read them for yourself and see, they don’t read as theology.  That’s comes in the later books.

Prayers for travel, Pax that have returned and those still MIA.  Praises to all the support for Gridlock’s Superhero 5k coming up, now at 53 F3 entries.  Very solid performance guys.

Ripken out.