The Meaning of Marriage | Week 4

Week 4 | Chapter Two: The Power of Marriage (Part 1)

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This week 5 Pax met at Adventure Park to continue our latest book study: The Meaning of Marriage. Thank you everyone that was able to attend. We covered the first half of chapter two. See the end of this back blast for this week’s assignment.


Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 Be Filled with the Spirit

  • A Mark of Spirit Fullness: a loss of pride and self-will that leads a person to humbly serve others
  • The Holy Spirit’s ministry is to take known truths about Jesus and make them clear to our minds and real to our hearts — so real that they console and empower and change us at our very center.
  • The worship of God with our whole hearts in the assurance of His love through the work of Jesus Christ is the thing that our souls were meant to run on.
  • If we look to our spouses to fill up our tanks in a way that only God can do, we are demanding an impossibility.

Submit to One Another

  • Whether we are husband or wife, we are not to live for ourselves but for the other
  • When two spouses spend time together, the question of who gets each’s pleasure and who serves the other can present itself every few minutes.
    • You can offer to serve the other with joy
    • You can offer with coldness or resentment
    • You can selfishly insist on your own way
  • Only when partners regularly respond to each other in the first way can the marriage thrive.
  • Don’t be so focused on serving your spouse that you deprive them of opportunities to serve you

The Problem of Self-Centeredness

  • The sinful human heart is naturally self-centered

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

  • Paul’s definition of love is the very opposite of self-centeredness
  • Without the help of the Spirit and the continual refilling of your soul’s tank with the glory and love of the Lord, such submission to the interests of others is vurtually impossible to accomplish for any length of time.
  • When facing any problem in marriage, the first thing you look for at the root of it, in some measure, is self-centeredness

The Wounds We Carry

  • When conflict arise in marriage, the wounds we carry make us self-absorbed
  • When people are so engrossed in their own pain, they are less sensitive to the needs of others
  • A marriage relationship unavoidably entails self-denial

Confronting Our Self-Centeredness

  • All people must be challenged to see that their self-centeredness hasn’t been caused by the people who hurt them; its only been aggravated by the abuse
  • Our woundedness makes us minimize our own selfishness
  • Determine your own selfishness is a fundamental problem and treat it more importantly than your spouse’s.

Homework for 11/2

  • Finish reading Chapter Two – The Power For Marriage.
  • Marriage Exercise: Each day this week, pray for your wife. Use the Marriage Prayer cards for help.

Thoughts for the week:

  • What is meant by the term: “Fear of the Lord”?
  • How can we be filled with the Holy Spirit?