“Someone Who Shall Not Be Named’s” Hillbilly Revenge

Weather: a bit on the chilly side (58F) with dew point in the upper 40s. Basically, a good day for a beatdown.

Pre-Run: Defib, and YHC launched at 0415 for a modest 6-miler to start things off. Several pax convened at 0440, but a circle-back was not to be had this gloom. The mumblechatter was thick as a result.

Welcome: At exactly 0515, YHC greeted the pax and conveyed the 5 core principles along with the disclaimer. A two-lap mozy quickly followed.


  1. SSH x 25 IC
  2. Mt Climbers x 20IC
  3. Imperial Walkers x 20IC
  4. Fast Fire Feet n Hit the Deck when “someone who shall not be named’s” name was mentioned.

The Thang: 

YHC had been a bit annoyed by non-F3 gents in the F3 Suncoast run group finishing in the top-10 of the weekly mileage board. So, a bit of motivation was in order. YHC challenged the pax that when they put “F3” on anything, whether it be a shirt, a hat, a leaderboard, then they should take it as their honor and duty to defend the brand and respect due the F3 designation. Now, YHC gets that not everyone “is a runner,” but the F3 Suncoast run board is a way to EH gents from other walks. F3 guys should dominate OUR board!

As is customary, the sledgehammer was on full display, representing the smashing of of goals. At all times, one pax incorporates the sledge into the activity, alternating sledge ownership when appropriate. In addition, YHC brought a nice good ‘ole country playlist and speaker to keep the pax motivated and in the Hillbilly spirit. The playlist was as follows:

  1. Cajun Baby, Hank Williams
  2. Swing’n, John Anderson
  3. Mamma’s, don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys, Waylon Jennings
  4. Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash
  5. Country Roads, Not John Denver (no one liked this version)
  6. No Trash in my Trailor, Colt Ford
  7. High Tech Redneck, George Jones
  8. Sweet Home Alabama, Lynard Skynard
  9. A Country Boy Can Survive, Hank Williams Jr.
  10. Family Tradition, Hank Williams Jr.
  11. White Lightning, George Jones
  12. Honkey Tonk Blues, Hank Williams
  13. Bacon in the Skillet, Chatham County Line
  14. Cajun Baby, Hank Williams
  15. Battle of New Orleans, Johnny Horton

Since “someone who shall not be named” continued to smash the pax in the F3 Suncoast run group, YHC took it upon himself to tailor a beatdown to help get our run group mileage up. The Hillbilly Revenge is comprised of hill sprints and exercises. Each pax was asked to pair-up with someone of roughly equal fitness. The objective was to congregate at the base of one of the NBP hills (they are small and there’s not many of them) while conducting the instructed exercises until YHC shouted “Go” for the next duo in line to sprint the hill then continue the exercise at the hilltop until the remainder of the pax completed the sprint. Then we mozied to the next hill.

The exercises were as follows:

  1. Mountain Man Shitters (i.e., ripshats)
  2. Moonshiners (2 x Dry Docks followed by 1 x Mule Kick)
  3. Hillbilly Lunges (walking lunges)
  4. Dueling Banjo Crawl Bears (down hill in backward bearcrawl with partner)
  5. ‘Mericans (Merkin, after the up, salute the flag with one hand, alternate hand each rep)
  6. Clothes-liners (arms out twist upper body all the way in one direction then follow-up with a Moroccan Nightclub)
  7. Tammy Wynette, Stand by Your Man (Partner 1 does x5 Airsquats while Partner 2 does x5 merkins, alternate)


  1. Number of local road trail races coming up.

Praises / Requests:

  1. First responders.

Thankful for the opportunity to Q a great group of pax.

“To do what others cannot do, do what others will not do.”