Der Beatdown Drei Uhr vierundvierzig

Weather: 58 and clear

As per usual, topics of conversation got progressively more unpleasant leading up to the 5.15 start time. Fortunately, we eventually got to 5.15 and so YHC recited the core principles and disclaimer, just in more detail due to Bing having just returned and maybe needing some additional time to process someone speaking in a language other than German.

We started with a normal mozi, including nur, butt kickers, carioca x2, and high knees. YHC then announced that we would be going to the basketball courts, which triggered speculation among the pax that the theme of the workout would be March Madness. Although that wasn’t the case, the COP exercises were done to a count of 16 to reflect that the Sweet 16 round of the tournament starts tomorrow. Exercises were:

  • SSH
  • Imperial walkers
  • Strawberry pickers
  • Moroccan nightclubs
  • Captain Thor (done up to 4 big boy sit ups, which conveniently translates to 16 American hammers)

A few pax thought it would be cute to count in German, either to help out Bing or annoy the Q – likely, a combination of the two.

The Thang started with a Dora 1-2-3, for no reason in particular. The pax paired up, with those doing the exercises  on the baseline of one of the court, with the partner running down to end of the other court, doing a set of their own exercises, and then running back to change positions. For the first round, the exercises being as follows:

  • 100 Carolina Drydocks
  • 200 American Hammers
  • 300 LBCs
  • Runners did a set of 10 monkey humpers at the other end before running back.

One other note on the American Hammers – an aspect of the Mueller report that’s being overlooked by most of the media is that it completely cleared Trump of collusion with F5 to start calling them “Russian Twists.” So there’s that.

Next was another Dora 1-2-3. but this time the exercises were:

  • 100 Merkins
  • 200 Freddie Mercuries
  • 300 Moroccan nightclubs
  • Runners did a set of 16 salsa dips at the other end before running back.

That was enough for the Doras, so next up was a few 3-ways. For those of you unfamiliar, a 3-way involves 3 different exercises, one for each baseline on the basketball court and another for the center line, with a designated mode of transportation between the lines. Do the first exercise on the baseline where we start, go to the center line, do that exercise, go the other baseline, do that exercise, then go back to the center line and do that exercise again, and finally back to the baseline where we started and do that exercise again. For the first set of these we had:

  • 30 shoulder taps
  • 30 leg raises
  • 30 Peter Parkers
  • Mode of transportation: lunge walk

With only a few minutes to go, we had another 3-way with the following:

  • 15 merkins
  • 15 overhead claps
  • 15 flutter kicks
  • Mode of transportation: duck walk

For the first time in what seems like decades, both the count-o-rama and name-o-rama went off without incident.


  • 2nd F tonight at Rusty Bucket
  • 2nd anniversary convergence, Saturday at Adventure Park
  • Sup & Run, May 25
  • Gator Wilderness run in April

Praises & Prayers

  • Ripken for a potential business deal (which came in later in the morning)
  • Pincher for some healing
  • Thanks for Bing coming home safe
  • Gridlock, for fun with in-laws