Insane Way to Start Ragnar Week

Nine pax converged to sweat off some gravy and add molecules to their legs before the necessary taper.  Ripken sacrificed his pre-run (he’s such a giver) to build a workout that was sure to impress, not sure to whom, but someone must have been impressed.

The Five Core principles were stated in casual, Urban Dictionary form.

  1. We’re men and we’re here.
  2. I ain’t chargin’ you.
  3. It’s not raining, but if it was, we’re stayin’.
  4. I don’t know nuthin’ bout exercise.
  5. We’ll circle up and say some good stuff to God.

The stellar leadership continued with a mozy that was really just a fellowship jog around the lot, but then the hammer was dropped.  At some point, Dasani dripped in. (Maybe he was there the whole time, but it was dark and everyone was wearing black.)

The typical warm up (Side Straddle Hops, Strawberry Pickers, blah, blah, blah) was nixed and Shaun T was brought in for the Insanity workout warmup.  This is really no warm up for those ignorant to the phenomenon that is Shaun T. This is 7 exercises for 30 seconds each done for three rounds with no rest in between.  The first round was slow, the second moderate, and the last was “balls out.”  Since Shaun T likes balls, this commentary by Ripken seemed motivating and appropriate.  Goob noted that his while his cardio has shrunk from the steroids, his nuggets are now huge.

  • Run in Place, Side Straddle Hops, Heismans, 123’s, Butt Kicks, High Knees and Mummy Kicks.

Next we headed to the pavilion for a similar, but different, Steve M workout.   This was 3 exercises for 30 seconds each done for 4 rounds.  I’m sure BeachBody will be calling to mass market this.  Johnny B was heard yelling discrediting remarks for not having thought of marketing his “Board of Pain” before now.

  • Dips, Irkins, Step-up Knee-up.

The shenanigans continued with a run to the bridge.  At the bridge, a Dora flopped out.  2 man teams doing 100 Inverted Big Boys, 100 Salsa Dips, 100 Dirkins, and 100 Bridge Pull thing-a-ma-bobs.  While man 1 was working, man 2 was sprinting to the two trees.  Lancelot was almost hit again as an ambitious dog walker that showed up at 5:45.

We ran back to the lot and realized that Shamwow was still trying to EH the dog walker.  We ran until he returned.

Prayers for Ragnar prep, sick Pax, Shamwow’s M, Sniper and Dasani’s relatives…and as always 1st Responders. Lots of good things going on this December for F3 to shine.  Be part of that light.

Ripken out.