Happy My Birthday! – 50 

Pax swarmed the green turf at Bad Clown for a birthday bash beatdown. A brisk and bright 49 dF at a 5:15 kickoff.

After stating our mission and core values we headed off for a mozy to the penile anchor storefront for some pickle pointers and pickle pounders of course.

Successfully completed a count off of the 18 pax while on the run back to the turf, as well as dividing the pax into Old Men and Young Pricks while on the move. A fortunate ,or divine (you pick), number of nine each side made for an even split of head to head challenges forthcoming.

Upon circling up we were joined by four more pax, and wouldn’t you know… two of each Young Pricks and Old Men (have you changed your mind yet?).

The first head to head challenge was the bag pull. Prop was a 50lb sandbag attached to the middle of a 100ft rope. The Young pricks had to pull the sandbag down the turf and then back. While each Young Prick took his turn pulling, the rest of them held plank (kinda). And while they were performing that task, the old men did overhead claps.

The original goal was to switch routines and the team with the highest cumulative overhead claps would win the round. However, the Young Pricks were so slow and the Old Men clearly posted an astronomical score, that YHC cut this challenge short and determined the Old Men were the hands down winners of the challenge. This was even the case with the additions of a late to show downrange pax Matador from NJ (later determined that he was late because he first went to the heritage harbor site to find no one present).

YHC realized that the number of pax was too great to do only one challenge at a time, so we performed the two remaining challenges with split squads then swapped.

One challenge was the coupon carry, where a team pax had to transport the various coupons from one end of the turf to the other while team scored points by doing SSH’s or IW or whatever else they wanted to occupy the time with.

The other challenge was the Jeep Push. One team pushed the Jeep around the parking lanes twice, while the opposing team ran the same track. Total number of laps was the winner.

Scorecards for both these challenges were unnecessary as the Old Men once again clearly dominated the Young Pricks.

Some may be worried that just a handful of hours into my old age I am already show many signs of senile observation, but I can assure you that I reviewed all video footage of the events that was sent to me. And after that I can attest that being an Old Man is better than being a Young Prick! …just wish I still had one.

We finished out with a circle of SSH’s IC to 50 with the background music of “Get Loud”. The cadence count rocked and was impressively LOUD. Thanks to all you willing participants for helping me start off this year right! —Even you Sonic Boom and your unwavering criticism of the unclear organization of this beatdown.

Announcements: look em up on Slack.

Prayers: for our 2.0’s, our brotherhood and a great year  ahead.