Weather: 65F and perfect, even even with some moist air.

Welcome: YHC and Defib wrapped-up an 0415 EC ride so the stage could be set just right. YHC greeted the pax at exactly 0515 and shared the 5 core principles and disclaimer. Mozey followed.

CoP: As the gang trotted toward their destination, the long hill of UTC’s backside parking lot, the regulars made an appearance: SSH x15 (IC), Mtn Climbers x10 (IC), and Strawberry Pickers x10 (IC).

The Thang: At the bottom of the long parking lot hill, YHC asked the pax who among them liked foosball. No one raised their hand, which set the perfect stage. YHC then shared that in the early 1970’s foosball was one of the biggest games in the world. Huge foosball tournaments (with large prize funds) were drawing would-be college students, athletes, tradesmen, etc. from all around because the cash prizes for winning a large foosball tournament were huge and good players could make a career out of a silly game. Well, YHC then asked the pax why foosball died, especially if it was so popular. One pax had the correct answer — video games! So, YHC then shared that today would be a beatdown devoted to one of the best video games of all time, DONKEY KONG.

YHC shared the rules. Up the long UTC parking lot hill were 8 pain stations. Each station had a # for reps and 3 different exercises. The first station was 10 reps, second was 20 reps, third was 30 reps and so on all the way to station 8 with 80 reps. Each time the pax encounter a station multiple times, he was to do a different exercise from the list each time. The pax were to count off by 5’s (which is always the most confusing and difficult thing for a pax). The numbers 1-5 that the pax counted-off would be the pax’s starting pain station. All pax with number 1, started at station 1 for the first round. Pax with number 2, started at station 2, etc.

YHC chose the first Donkey Kong, Sonic Boom. Sonic Boom was to go to the top of the hill with two large rubber balls and launch them down the hill in hopes of hitting a pax. If a pax was hit, he had to start back at station one, which was the farthest station down the hill, and the farthest from Donkey Kong. The rules were that while doing a designated exercise at a given station, pax could not maneuver away from an incoming ball. If a ball hit a pax, down to station one he would go. If the pax was transitioning from one station to the next up the hill, he was allowed to dodge an incoming Donkey Kong ball.

YHC chose Donkey Kong’s nephew, Diddy, who turned out to be Chilipepper for round one. Diddy Kong’s job was to shag the balls as they made their way down the hill and get them back to Donkey Kong. After a ball was tossed, Donkey Kong had to do 5 burpees before reloading and launching another ball.

YHC also chose the damsel in distress “Pauline”. Pauline was held hostage by Donkey Kong and she had to do Suzanne Sommers until one of the pax made his way all the way to station 8 without getting hit by one of Donkey Kong’s balls, just like the video game (almost).

All told, we probably had 6 or 7 pax make it to the top and usurp Donkey Kong. When a pax made it to the top, a 10-burpee “burp off” was conducted between the would-be Donkey Kong and the defeated Donkey Kong. Whichever pax was lowest on the hill at that moment served as Diddy Kong for the next round. Whoever was Pauline got to pick the next Pauline. At the start of the new round, pax returned to their starting pain station + whatever round was commencing with no one starting higher than station 5. If a pax’s starting pain station + the # of rounds exceeded 5, then the starting station “wrapped” to station 1 and so on. For example, if a pax started at pain station #4 and round 4 was about to commence, said pax would start at pain station # 3 (4 + 1 = 5, 4 + 2 = 1 [due to wrapping around back to station 1], 4 + 3 = 2). Rinse & Repeat until time expired. It was fun.

Exercises were as follows according to station:

1. Rodeo, Burpee, Lunge Jump
2. Reverse Lunge, Merkin, American Hammer
3. Shoulder Taps, Get-ups, Box Cutters
4. Big Boys, Onos, Bobby Hurley
5. Superman / Skydiver, Freddy Mercury
6. Single-leg Calf Raises, Windshield Wipers, Flutter Kick
7. Skips, Scissor Kick, Sumo Squat
8. Moroccan Night Clubs, LBCs, Overhead Claps

Thankfully, and appropriately, Goob showed-up with the sledge. We all know Mario carried a sledge of some sort, so it was only fitting that Sir Lancelet accepted the sledge and publicly declared his commitment to run a 100-mile event. The sledge is for those who want pax accountability to a goal that pushes one out of the comfort zone. Sir Lancelot is now under the microscope for following through on his public commitment. A pax with the sledge is invincible.

Announcements: Wildpax 2023, Raider Rise & Run 5k, Gator Wilderness Run 5k, 10k, 15k, St Anthony’s Tri, August Tri, Ragnar

Prayer Requests / Praises: Wolverine family situation, Enron’s eye issue and home sale, Mrs. Doubtfire’s health situation.

It was fun,

Gritlock