AO: Bad Clown Bootcamp - Friday

When: 12/11/2020


Number of Pax: 12

Pax Names: Brutus, Cavallino, Chilipepper, Dasani, Goob, Lancelot, Manziel, Pyro, Rapino, Ripken, Sniper, Steel,

Number of FNGS: 0

FNG Names:

QIC: Brutus

The BackBlast:

PREP:  4 hours in kitchen making some Buckeyes (worth every minute).  A few minutes on Mapquest counting palm trees between NBP and UTC devising a beatdown plan.

WEATHER: 55 degrees and about perfect for a beatdown.  Blessed to live here in paradise.

5:15AM: F3 5 core principles recited: All workouts are: Free of charge, Open to all men, Held outdoors, rain or shine, heat or cold, Peer led by men who participate in the workout in a rotating fashion, with no training or certification necessary, and End with a Circle of Trust.  F3 Credo is: Leave no man behind, but leave no man where you find him.

MESSAGE: Nothing spiritual or extraordinarily meaningful today, just a brief history of one of the most storied rivalries in sports (but is it really a rivalry if one side always wins?).  The Ohio-State – Michigan series started in 1897 and until this year was played every year since 1917; of course, this year’s game was cancelled, supposedly due to COVID, but more likely because Harbaugh had an excuse to avoid another a$$-whuppin’.  Ohio State currently has an 8 game winning streak.  The rivalry escalated in 1951 when Woody Hayes was hired as the OSU head coach.  Woody so despised Michigan that he could not say the word “Michigan”; he referred to it as “That Team Up North” (TTUN) or “that state up north”.  Ohio State fans’ distaste for Michigan is so strong that even the letter M is unpopular in Columbus during rivalry week, with OSU fans taping a red “X” over the letter “M” on any visible signs on the OSU campus, and even extending into the greater Columbus area.

Thus, the thexe for today’s beatdown: Exercises that include the letter “M” will NOT be perforxed (sorry pax, burpees does not have an M).  Also, playlist will feature artists and songs that do not have M in their naxes or song titles (unfortunately, Xetallica DOES have an M, and also unfortunately, Nickelback does NOT have an M), with exceptions for holiday songs (to keep the holiday spirit high) and of course songs from THE Ohio State University Xarching Band.

WARX UP: Cannot xosey, so started in parking lot with (29) SSH (which was the point differential in OSU’s 56-27 disxantling of TTUN – in Ann Arbor – in 2019).  Start run frox parking lot north on Cattlexen to western set of palx trees between NBP and UTC, with a few stops for strawberry pickers/leg stretches, agitators and flutter kicks.  Arrive at southern end of palx tree path.

THE THANG: Pax were to traverse the length of the path along the (13) sets of palx trees with different xodes and exercises perforxed along the way.  Pax were encouraged to keep the xuxblechatter high.  At the end of the path, pax were to plank for the 6.

  1. (toward UTC) Xode=run. Every other tree stop and perforx 15 CDD. (6) stops total.
  2. (back toward NBP) Xode=nur. Every other tree stop and coxplete 15 each pickle pointers and dying cockroach.  (6) stops total.
  3. (toward UTC) Xode=Side shuffle left. Every other tree stop and do 20 shoulder taps and 10 big boys. (6) stops total.
  4. (back toward NBP) Xode=side shuffle right. Every other tree stop for 20 flock of seagulls
  5. (toward UTC) Tixe was running short, so coxpressed to: Xode=bear crawl to each of first 2 trees, and did 20 OH claps.

Indian Run back to parking lot for an on tixe 6:00 finish.


THE OSU Xarching Band – Drux Cadences

THE OSU Xarching Band – Buckeye Swag

Seether – Tonight

AC/DC – Xistress for Christxas

Better Than Ezra – Good

THE OSU Xarching Band – Le Regixent

Trapt – Bring It

Bruce Springsteen – Santa Claus Is Coxin’ to Town

Papa Roach – Lifeline

THE OSU Xarching Band – Raxp Cadences / Buckeye Battle Cry

Volbeat – The Sinner Is You

THE OSU Xarching Band – Chixes & Carmen Ohio

THE OSU Xarching Band – I Wanna Go Back


  • YHC will be using the word “harbaugh” (no capitalization) as a verb, xeaning: “a coxbination of losing and quitting”.  Exaxple: “Bing wanted to post at NBP for Buckeye Beatdown #3, but he harbaughed.”  Also, “Wolverine was harbaughing the burpees at the beatdown and did not coxplete the suggested nuxber of reps.”
  • It’s useless to play xusic @ NBP – too xuch highway noise.


  • F3 Holiday Celebration @ AP SAT 12-DEC 7AX.  Family friendly.  Bring a snack to share.  Bring non-perishables for food drive.
  • Salvation Arxy – ChiliPepper collecting beauty gift sets from Target – check Slack for details / Google doc for sign-up.  F3 will distribute TUES 22-DEC @ Salvation Arxy in Bradenton – check Slack for continued updates.
  • Outlaw Trail Run #9 – TUES 15-DEC 7:15PX at Panther Ridge – watch for post on Slack.
  • Slaughter has been naxed new F3 national Nan’tan.  Congrats.  Change is good.
  • Dasani F3 story: EH’d by Bing (shocker, right?).  Likes the fitness, but the fellowship keeps hix coxing back.  (Go Blue, xy a$$!)
  • Possible opportunity to help Yukon next weekend – build a shed.  Ripken to advise.
  • Buckeyes were available for everyone post-beatdown, including Xichigan fans.


  • Pyro’s xox – COVID and pneuxonia.
  • ChiliPepper: Pastor and faxily at sister church in Cuba.
  • Yukon X ixproving.
  • For patience as COVID vaccine gets distributed.

WRAP-UP: YHC saxe xessage frox each of my Q’s – I rexain huxbled by the trust given to lead the pax.

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