When: 09/07/2020


Number of Pax: 11

Pax Names: Big Mac, Cottontail, Dr Feelgood, Lobstah, Manziel, Papa Smurf, Sir Wallace, SnapShot, Stagecoach, Tex, Tugboat,

Number of FNGS: 0

FNG Names:

QIC: Manziel

The BackBlast:

Weather: 73 degrees, only slightly gross humidity

With today being Labor Day, the start of the beatdown was moved from 5.15 to 7.00, which also gave YHC a good excuse to extend the time from 45 minutes to 60. That was not appreciated starting right about at minute 46, but more on that later.

Core principles and disclaimers were shared, then a mozi took us down the road to the dog park, where the COP took place. The COP featured SSH, strawberry pickers, hillbilly walkers, Moroccan nightclubs, windmills, Michael Phelps, agitators and arm circles, not necessarily in that order. The pax then counted off in 4s (which would become important later), and performed an Indian Run back to the pavilion, where we got our drinks and headed to the Echo Chamber.

Once we reached the Echo Chamber, it was discovered that some inconsiderate yob (YHC) had posted lists of exercises on each of the 4 corners of the rink. That wasn’t even the worst part of it. Pax were given a guided tour of the corners, which not only talked about the exercises but how to get from one corner to the next – which wasn’t always pleasant. There would be 5 rounds, with the number of reps increasing for each round. Pax started and ended each round at the number corresponding to where the counted off at the COT. The exercises for each corner were as follows:

Corner 1:

  • 10 Lunges
  • 20 Leg raises
  • 30 Salsa Dips
  • 40 Freddie Mercurys
  • 50 Calf raises

Corner 2:

  • 10 Parker Peters
  • 20 Flutter kicks
  • 30 Peter Parkers
  • 40 Mountain climbers
  • 50 LBCs

Corner 3:

  • 10 Evander Holyfields
  • 20 Merkins
  • 30 Carolina Drydocks
  • 40 Wide merkins
  • 50 Imperial walkers

Corner 4:

  • 10 Bobby Hurleys
  • 20 Shoulder taps
  • 30 American hammers
  • 40 Plank jacks
  • 50 Moroccan nightclubs

Now for the best part…getting from one corner to the next. It added even more stupidity:

  • Form corner 1, nur to corner 2
  • From corner 2, duck walk to the center of the rink, do Jack Webbs (number of merkins corresponding with the round number, then duck walk to corner 3)
  • From corner 3, side shuffle to corner 4
  • From corner 4, bear crawl to the center of the rink, do Captain Thors (number of big boy situps corresponding with the round number, then duck walk to corner 3)

By now, you’ve been able to gather that there were very few redeeming qualities to the workout, but Papa Smurf seemed to be enjoying the music (SiriusXM Lithum, as usual). In spite of YHC’s best efforts to drag out the thing, we still had a few minutes left for a Round of Mary. Volunteering to start this is supposed to be admirable, but it doesn’t work that way when Stagecoach decided to go with 5 – then he changed his mind to 10 – burpees. Apparently he didn’t get enough of them during last week’s Iron Pax.


  • Walk to End Alzheimers is Nov. 21, and YHC is on the Sarasota-Manatee committee which puts me in charge of rounding up you yahoos. Rowdy and I are both heading up teams, so looking for a couple of other team leaders and then for everyone who can to participate.
  • Sept. 13, 5K for the Pregnancy Center. Sir Wallace will be leading a group at Bob Gardner Park on White Eagle, but you can do anywhere (or on another day)

Prayers & Praises

  • Prayers for fallen police officers, including those in YHC’s and Snapshot’s hometowns
  • Police, troops, firefighters, first responders, doctors, nurses
  • Injured pax

After we were done, Papa Smurf came to the rescue of Cottontail, who got back to his car to find a flat tire. Who knew, Papa Smurf happened to be carrying a small compressor that got enough air in the tire to allow him to drive out (to the tire store). So Papa Smurf played the role of Fix-a-Flat, which was pretty awesome, but now you know who to call if you get a flat.

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