Pulling into the gloom at 0512, YHC noticed only two cars but numerous pax gathered around the flag. One car, familiarly known to the be the possession of Snapshot and another with Georgia tags hinted at a downrange clown car affair. With the four guests all clad in black F3 gear, I knew we were in for a different beatdown.

After the brief introductions to #F3theAlamo pax Krusty, Breaststroke, Mulch & Sod Father, 0515 was upon us, so we got to it. Stating the mission, followed by our core values and disclaimer we took off on a short .25 mile mosey.

Warmup included: SSH, Strawberry pickers, Abe Vigoda, leg stretched, old-man-back stretches, phelps etc.

The Thang: basic Dora. 100 merkins, 200 squats, 300 BBC’s (that’s the big-boy-crunch where your elbow and heals hit the ground on the down and touch elbows to knees on the up). Mode of transportation was a 50 yard Nur and a 50-yard sprint back.

All pairings finished relatively close in time and after a recovery walk back to our starting point we circled up for a couple cycles of Bro-Yoga, then a 10 minute round-of-merry. Box-cutters, Suzanne Sommers, the protractor, and then…

OMG! (this will be Big-Mac’s new fav) something they call the J-lo… which is not the elbow planking hip rock exercise we do them as, no-no – they call those Shakira’s. These are Plank Jacks with a point and smile, and YES – eye contact is required.

Moving around the circle back to YHC I had to call Toy-Soldiers. Why? Because during through the stretching they were all talking about an uncanny ability of Mulch’s. He did not disappoint! A true Rockette at heart, feet flying high above his head after he took his act to the middle of the circle making sure to make all other pax bit uncomfortable, I’m pretty sure he was the one enjoying the eye-contact rules of the J-lo.

We finished out celebrating and partaking in communion (peanut butter crackers and Caprisun) remembering that we should regularly break our bodies not for ourselves but for others and that we should give grace as easily as we receive salvation through the sacrifice of our creator, which is the new covenant.