Care to get a little “dirty?” AP and a little rain allow for just that opportunity. Your M may just accuse you of making mud pies or worse…making Crabbie-scatties in the woods.
The warm up will take us through the usually Ripken’s 80’s workout featuring some of the boldest moves seen on Soul Train, Disco Fever and Card Sharks. You should hope for No Whammy’s, but that’s not likely. Your flexibility will be tested, and you will wish for an episiotomy to ease the pain to your taint.
Following this test of will and manhood, we’ll venture to the woods where a plethora of pain has been arranged. We’ll be greeted by such greats as:
YOU ARE RE-MERK-ABLE
MOONS OVER MIHAMMY
HIIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT
The fun will ensue unless Ripken yells “INCOMING” where everyone will drop and Army crawl on their bellies 10 yards to safety then sprint to the next station. Avoid Lancelot land mines and Bing dog piles. They tend to be “loose lipped” when running in the woods. However, YHC is the Yoda of Scat. With Memorial Day just around the corner, we need to avoid casualties.
Many audibles are likely so don’t be surprised if we don’t do any of this. In battle, changes are inevitable. Men, every day we must win the battle against this world that is trying to suck us into Sad Clown Town. Fight, claw and work with your comrades to win the day. No man left behind, not on my watch.
With any luck, Drake will be so out of breath, that the only words that come out of his mouth at Rowdy’s wedding, will be those of the Holy Spirit. Praises to our brother Rowdy on his big day, Prayers for a long, healthy, happy marriage that is an example to many for years to come.